Love.

After all of the hard work, discipline, and pain, I finally achieved it. Yesterday I ran my first marathon. My months of forcing myself to get out of bed and put on my running shoes finally paid off. It felt so great to cross the finish line and see so many great people in my life cheering me on. I was able to run my first marathon with my best friend from college, which was wonderful but I also saw many people from my life this year throughout the marathon. My housemates, other volunteers from Denver, my mom, and Bridge folks were all involved and cheered me on, it made me feel very blessed.

On top of running the marathon yesterday I was able to see one of my roommates from college last week and spend time with my mom. I am so fortunate to have so many great communities in my life. So many parts of my life came together this past week and met in the city that has taught me so much.

I am not always happy with Denver like when they make laws (as they did last week) that make me very mad. But when I look to the root of what is making me so mad about those laws it all comes down to LOVE. My old roommate jokingly acted as my shrink in a bookstore on a comfy couch. She asked me many questions and wrote down some of the things I said on a receipt. One thing that kept coming up was my idea of love. This year I have really learned to love others for who they are. I found the importance that everyone deserves the right to be loved and to give love.

But what is love really? For me I think it is serving others, no matter who they are, what I think about them, or how they act. AND allowing them to serve and love me. We are called to love right? But what is love to you? What does that mean? I think that we are meant to respect everyone, we don’t have to be friends with everyone, but we do have to love them, to love them. But I am slowly learning how to love people that are not my friends. I am learning stay connected with those that I do love from different parts or years of my life. And in a weird way the marathon, where I saw so many new and old friends, where I ran down the street that I ride the bus on everyday and meet so many characters, reminded me of the fact that I love people, and I love to love.

One of my favorite Bible verses is 1 Cor 16:14 “let all that you do be done in love”. I may not know where I am going in life, where I will be lead next. But one thing I can be certain about is that I will love others, that I will face challenges and overcome them (like the marathon), and that I will always have people in my life that love me.

A time for reflection

Yay community!

This weekend I went to aVEV (volunteers exploring vocation) conference. To be honest I did not know what to expect out of the weekend. I pretty much thought that is would be a bunch of people that wanted to go to seminary gathering together ( I do not want to go to seminary). I thought that everyone there would know each other and I would feel out of place. And I thought that I would have to gather around and talk about my feelings with a lot of strangers which I was not   looking forward to.

It turned out that yes, some of my hypothesis for the weekend were true, but it also turned out to be far better than I expected. A lot of the people were thinking about going to seminary but a lot also had no idea what they wanted to do in the fall. They were just as lost and confused as I was… which felt comforting to know that I was not the only one out there feeling that way.

We listened to some great speakers and attended wonderful workshops which really made me think. They forced me to think about my passions, what I am good at, and what I enjoy. The idea of getting my masters in counseling kept coming into my mind. I kept thinking about my love for working with teenagers and I wondered what it was that I really enjoyed, I realized that I loved listening to teenagers. What I enjoyed the most out of the weekend was listening to other volunteers from all around America speak about their experiences. And it just kind of clicked that I love to listen to others.

Not only did I think about my future this weekend but the weekend also forced me to think about my past and reflect on my past year. A lot of those there this weekend spoke of the troubles they were having in their communities. It made me really thankful for the community that I live with and thankful that for the most part we all get along well. I reflected on my services here in Denver and what I have gotten out of working with at risk children. I am learning so much this year about helping people and social justice issues and I did not even realize it because I did not take the time to reflect.

I found out that it is important to reflect on my past because it has helped shape me into the person I am now.I am moving to Des Moines in the fall and I am hoping to find a youth ministry position and now I am thinking about looking for programs for masters in counseling thanks to this weekend.

I have a lot to think about for my future but I also have a lot to be thankful for and to reflect on from my past.

Find your passion

This year my housemates and I have been talking about finding our different passions. We have realized that we all have different passions and we need to support those passions. A lot of us have the mentality of wanting to ‘save the world’ however it is not possible to save the whole world (unless you are Jesus of course). It is possible to make small changes which can lead to big differences in peoples lives though.

We all have different skill sets and passions and we all need to figure out what our different passions are. For me I love working with teenagers. I love listening to them, and supporting them. I very much dislike media and how they make youth (especially girls) think that they should act or look a certain way. I have met far too many youth that have had eating disorders thanks to the media. So for me I know that I want to work with youth in my future and help them to learn just how beautiful they are and just how loved they are.

Some of my housemates have a passion with helping the hungry. They want to help feed people, help them learn how to grow their own feed, how to eat healthy, how to shop wisely, and how to become self sustainable. Some have recently learned about the awful topic of sex trafficking and they want to learn how to help those that are caught up in that process. Some are being  called to seminary to help people to grow with God.

We have all found a passion for the homeless. Denver is trying to pass a law where it will be illegal for the homeless to sleep outside. The only problem is that Denver does not currently have enough beds for the homeless to sleep. The councilmen’s solution to the problem is to build a place with a lot of beds for the homeless to sleep. Which is great but the building would not be built until at least a year after the act would be set in order. So until the building is built the homeless will have to be kicked around or arrested? And then there is the fact that most places won’t allow homeless to sleep in their beds if they have a felony on their records, so where do they end up? On the streets again so they can be arrested once again? So though this is a great idea for the city of Denver to do (insert sarcasm here), maybe the councilmen should rethink the process of this ban. Maybe they should try building the housing first and see if that solves the problem of the homeless sleeping on the streets. IF it does solve the problems then if they MUST set the ban in order they may do so. But only if the housing is efficient. My housemates and I attended a city meeting at the city capital over the ban. We wanted to show that there were Denver citizens that were opposed to the ban.

We are going to write letters to our councilmen and try and get others to write letters as well.We are trying to make little changes to make a big difference in others lives.  There are so many things out there to be passionate about. I have to constantly remind myself to find one focus to support. If I spread myself too thin and try to make too many changes I will not end up making much difference at all. But if I  make changes in one area I can make big changes in some peoples lives. Think of how much change can occur in this world if we all supported one topic. We could bring the Kingdom of Heaven here to earth.

So are you supporting something you are passionate about? Are you trying to make small changes? If not I encourage you to do so.

Being present

At this point in the year most of my housemates know where they want to be in the fall. Or at least have an idea of where they want to end up eventually. At first I was really worried at the fact that I still hadn’t the slightest idea of where I was supposed to end up next year. But then I eventually realized that God had my back and would lead me somewhere.

What really stuck out to me was the fact that I needed to be present in the here and now. I only get the experience of my Dwell year in Denver with these exact people once, and why ruin that experience with worrying? Since I decided to be present the worrying for the most part has disappeared. There is so much to learn right now. 

God has really showed me that I need to find happiness and joy out of all situations. Everyday I try to look for something good. I try to find Gods face daily. If I were not focusing on the present that would be quite difficult to do. Instead I have really started focusing on learning everyday. I have found joy from the children I work with. I have fallen in love with working with my fellow interns. I have learned and grown more with my housemates. I have found beauty in Gods creation here in Denver. These are simple things but important things. I have so much to be thankful for in life and I have so much learning to do.So for now I am taking life one day at a time.

People often mention the fact that I am a happy person. I am so glad that I am viewed as that but I also want others to be happy and know they are capable of such feelings as well. I think when one realizes that they need to make all situations into positive ones, they learn to lead a happier life. They learn that God will provide, so there is nothing to fear.

I was talking to one of my housemates today about my future. He asked me what I wanted to do,when I answered him the answer was finally obvious and clear and I just said “youth ministry”. He asked where I wanted to be in the fall so I said the place that has been on my heart lately, “Des Moines”. He then told me that God would provide, I just needed to rely on him and things would work out. 

I knew that those two options were possibilities of places I wanted to be in the fall but I did not know that that was were my heart was leading me for sure until I stated it to him today. I think that it was Gods way of showing me my next step in life. 

So while I know I need to actually be hunting for a job and apartments for the fall, I also know that God will help me and bring to me the things he wants. For now I am to continue to learn and discern from my experiences in Denver. I am to find God everyday and be joyful for God is with me and wants me to learn. 

Are you being present in the here and now? Are you being thankful for what God is giving you in life right this moment? Are you finding Gods face in the things he is allowing you to experience? 

Someone worth looking at

Last week something occurred that I am going to share with you. When I got off of my first bus coming home from work and was running to catch my second bus a gentleman approached me. The man asked me for money, which was not something new. Like usual, I stopped to hear him out and like usual I did not have money on me. He told me that he needed the money so he could sleep inside that night and take a shower. I really wished I could help him and I told him so. Instead of being sad that I did not have money to donate, he was filled with so much happiness. Why? Because I actually stopped and listened to him. He said that I was the first person all night to listen to what he had to say and I did not ignore him. That made my heart sad, this task I found so small, just stopping to hear a persons voice meant the world to this man.

But then the question came into my mind; why was I the very first person to listen to this guy? Even if others did not have money for him they could at least give him their attention for two minutes. Why do we as a society find it so important to always be in a hurry? Why do we as a society look down on those that might look a little different from what we look? I have discussed before the importance of not ignoring anyone and I still believe that to be true.

God created all of us and that means he loves ALL of us. We are called to love our neighbor but I do not feel as though we actualy do that. The other day I watched ‘Horton hears a who’, in the movie the brilliant Doctor Suess wrote “A persons a person no matter how small”. What I believe Suess meant is that we are called to pay attention to everyone even the little people in this world . I am not saying the man I was talking to was a “little person”, he was just a person like you and me. I would not appreciate it if I tried to talk to someone and they walked on by me and ignored me, would you? Most likely you wouldn’t, so why would you do that to someone that tried to interact with you?

I am not saying that you should go and give your cash to everyone you meet, you need to be smart about the way you interact with others, but nonetheless you should interact with others.I believe that we should let people know that they are not invisible, that they are a beautiful creation, and that they have our respect. It really isn’t difficult to have a conversation with someone and you never know when you will make someones day by doing that simple task.

For the inner fat girl

A little bit of my past

I am a pretty hard headed, competitive girl. I do not like to lose, I do not like to give up, and I like to face challenges and complete those challenges. I think those are some of the reasons that I have decided to run this marathon in May. But recently while thinking about running, I think that there is one other reason that I now want to do this marathon.

In middle school I absolutely hated running. I dreaded the days in gym when we had to run the mile or even the half a mile. It was embarrassing and I was horrible at it.  I couldn’t even run half a mile. It only grew worse when I reached my freshman and sophomore year of high school. I could not run because I was very much overweight. I do not really like to talk about the fact that I was a very big gal, and I have hidden most of the pictures of the younger Sarah Keller so there is not much evidence that I was 50 pounds heavier than I now am.

Even after I lost weight I would walk a lot but not often run accept for the few times we would run as a team for dance team practices. Never would I have dreamed that I would one day be training for a marathon. But now I am training for one. On the days that I really don’t want to run or when I have a long run that is really difficult, I just remind myself that I am doing it for the former fat child. The girl that never thought that something such as a marathon would be possible to do. It is a good reminder that I can do anything I want to as long as I set goals and put my mind to it. I can open The willow tree (my coffee shop and bakery someday), I can be a youth pastor, or travel to another Country to serve others. Why? Because I know that I am a hard headed girl and I will work hard to accomplish the things that I want or need to accomplish and I know that God will be with me the whole time to lead me to the places that I need to go.

I can do all things through Christ… as well as a lot through my hard headed personality.

Are you working to achieve your goals? Are you pushing yourself? Are you getting out and trying new things? Are you relying on God to pick you up when you feel like you can’t go on? If the answer to any of these questions is no, maybe you should think about changing the answer, you might find something wonderful.

Modeling Sarah

Challenge yourself

I was recently on Pinterest, which I am told is an addicting website. I personally am not addicted to the site as of now. I once in awhile will skim it briefly. The other day I saw a picture of a little stick figure and there was a bubble saying “this is my comfort zone”. In the far off distance there was another bubble saying something along the lines of “And this is where I will grow”. The point of the depiction was to say that in order for us to grow we must push ourselves out of the places that we are most comfortable in. We must try new things and challenge ourselves. I have witnessed time and time again for this to be true.

I have mentioned in previous blogs that one of the things I wanted out of this year was to be pushed out of my comfort zone. Today while I was going on a 10.5 mile run I kept thinking that I was crazy. I kept thinking about things that I would rather be doing than running at that moment. My challenging run today was training me for something bigger and better. It was training me for my marathon. Once I got over the negative thoughts and started soaking in the warm air and beautiful outdoors I instantly started enjoying my run and feeling at peace. Running this much was something that I never thought I would have done but it has been a good challenge to myself.

When I hear stories from volunteers in other programs and even my own program about being challenged in their way of thinking this year, it inspires me. So many people that are doing a year of service had never been forced to think about the things they are learning about social justice before starting their programs. They never had the types of conversations they have been having this year, and they had never met the type of people they have met this year. I was blessed with knowing people in college that challenged me and made me think about big issues and question things. I had many deep conversations and served in a lot of places throughout my undergraduate career. I came into this year being ready to embrace the challenges I knew I would face with wide open arms.Some volunteers that had never been forced out of their comfort zones were a bit reluctant for the new challenges but now they are glad they have experienced them. One thing is for certain, we have all grown so much throughout this year so far. And the reason we have grown; because we have stepped foot out of our comfort zones.

For some it has been difficult to live in community, for others it has been difficult to be face to face with poverty, others it has been a new challenge to ride the bus and not have a car. The list goes on and on. Our house is currently experiencing small challenges in the fact that we cannot consume chocolate and coffee that are not fair trade. Some of us have given up meat for lent and another one that is addicted to Dr. Pepper has given that up for lent. We have all gone out of our comfort zones in giving these addictions up. It has been for a greater cause though. Through our belief in fair trade we have been able to educate others on the poor side affects of not having fair trade and teaching them the great benefits of consuming great things. We have given up these items so we can lean more on Jesus when we are craving them, we are growing as a community. As small as a task as giving these things up it has helped us to grow.

I challenge each and everyone of you to force yourself out of your comfort zone, to be willing to grow and learn, and form your opinions on issues. Have positive thoughts while going through this process because it is never helpful to be negative, and be ready to grow!